I tell men who may sleep in my bed that they will sleep on the right side of the bed. I tell them in advance so that there is no confusion. I send pictures to them, if they’ve never seen my room before, of the view from the right side of the bed, and I send pictures of the view of the left side of the bed, and the view from my side is no better than the view from the other side, but the lamp is on my side and the side table with the half dozen books I’m reading is on my side, and the window I normally leave open is on my side, and I’ve always slept on the left side, and it’s my bed, so take the left side or enjoy one of the couches.

And tonight, it’s take the right side AND, bonus, get your choice of matchbox cars and dinosaurs with which to play before lights out. I’ll probably leave the toys there. The right side is no slated for use tonight. Plus, I’ve always had a thing for the triceratops.